Top Stories

Sign Up for our newsletter now.

Faith

I’m not ready to meet you, God

by | 14 August 2017, 1:04 PM

“If the plane crashes, then we’ll just go to heaven earlier!”

We were about to board a plane to Sydney when my friend said it. We’d been talking about MH370 and other recent aviation tragedies. It was meant to be comforting, I’m sure, but I was disturbed.

I was not ready to meet God.

I haven’t achieved anything significant in my life! I haven’t found someone to grow old and happy with! Nor had any kids yet! And I still need to decorate my dream house with the books I’ve been stockpiling for my it’s-gonna-be-epic bookshelf!

My well-conditioned, well-drilled Christian brain immediately hit back: How could you even think that? Does not the joy of meeting God far surpass all these things?

While I had grown to love God’s presence, I couldn’t help but be fearful at the thought of actually meeting Him – coming face-to-face with the One who searches hearts and examines minds.

My instinctive thoughts were all the things I would miss out on if I were to die anytime soon. But in that split second in which my innermost thoughts surfaced, I learnt something about my heart and its true treasures: I was choosing the things of the world over the God I professed to love.

I was still holding on to the worldly notions of what would bring happiness that I’ve had since I was a child, way before I met Jesus.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with kids, marriage and beautiful bookshelves. They aren’t the problem.

The problem comes when we prize these gifts above the One who gives them (James 1:17).

What I learnt before that flight was that God wasn’t my only treasure. I had not captured in my heart the surpassing worth of knowing Christ (Philippians 3:8). I was settling for the world.

In reflection, I thought about the sweet moments in my life when God had surprised me with His presence:

  • I was strolling home on a beautiful day. Nothing seemed terribly ordinary, when I suddenly felt His smile upon me. My heart leapt for joy.
  • I opened my Bible in a hurry to get a passage in, before I headed out for the day. I didn’t expect much, but the Spirit opened my imagination, giving me backstage-access to the unfolding drama at the Red Sea.
  • When my heart was burdened and heavy with darkness, He said that He would show me a new way to live: In the lightness of freedom, and in company with Him.

But at the same time, I was afraid of meeting God face-to-face.

I haven’t become the person God would be pleased with. I have so many more things about myself that I need to change; I need more time.

That was how I felt – why I wasn’t ready to meet God. While I had grown to love God’s presence, I couldn’t help but be fearful at the thought of actually meeting Him (Romans 14:12) – coming face-to-face with the One who searches hearts and examines minds (Jeremiah 17:10).

The comfort I have is that, as I grow to be more like Him, He will see the good work He has started in me all the way through to completion.

I was too focused on the truth about Romans 3:23, that as a sinner, I should have no business being in the presence of a Holy God. In my self-loathing, I’d forgotten the truth that follows in Romans 3:24: That all are justified freely by His grace, through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

When we think about the sinfulness of our heart and the mistakes we still make, we’re ashamed to enter into God’s light. But the truth is that we only have to be afraid if pleasing God is not our priority.

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. (John 3:19-21)

God knows who we are – sinners, redeemed by His grace. We have an assurance that when we choose to draw near to Him and live in His light, there’s forgiveness instead of shame. There’s grace instead of condemnation. There’s eternal freedom.

All great dichotomies, none of which make sense. And yet we have them. That’s grace!

The comfort I have is that, as I grow to be more like Him, He will see the good work He has started in me all the way through to completion. So that when I finally meet Him, I will not be afraid, but satisfied.

As for me, I will be vindicated and will see your face;
When I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness. (Psalm 17:15)

Moments later, the engines in the wings of the plane roared to life. I took to the air — a little closer to God.

/ fiona@thir.st

Fiona is secretly hilarious. One of her dogs thinks so too. She loves a good chat with strangers, store assistants, and fluffy dogs.

Conversations

We Recommend

Faith

From whom all blessings flow

by Darius Leow

Culture

I’ll never be as _______ as her

by Eunice Sng

Culture

What to do when your #OTP breaks up

by Wong Siqi

Culture

I looked down on women

by Eunice Sng | 22 September 2017, 4:10 PM

As the younger sister, I compared myself to my brother all my life. Perhaps I had some sort of inferiority complex. Or maybe I was just a kiasu individual. Either way, it just didn’t help that I felt my parents played favourites – they were always partial to my brother.

I grew up being told:

  • You’re a girl, you should learn how to cook.
  • You’re a girl, you need to know how to sew.
  • You’re a girl, go help your mother out with the laundry.
  • You’re a girl, if you don’t keep a clean room, how on earth are you going to run your future household?

So over the years, my frustration turned into bitterness and resentment. For one reason or another, I started to believe that a powerful and independent woman must look perfect all the time and be able to run a business. And any successful woman must surely not have the time for children.

As a result, for a time, I felt that housewives and mothers were roles that are looked down on in society. Ask any girl in her early 20s what she wants to be when she grows up – you’ll find that very few would reply, “I want to be a mother.”

Besides, most of my female friends aren’t thinking of marriage. You’re young. Why get tied down?

I spent a long time confused and angry, because of my wrong belief that God made us inferior to men. That clashed with the reality of my household, where it was the women who held many responsibilities and did many jobs. In comparison, I thought that the men were just slacking around.

My bitter view of things led to many debates in my home. Eventually my Mother told me to read Proverbs 31 and examine “the wife of noble character”. In this chapter, I read all the scriptural attributes of the ideal woman – and I was completely surprised.

I realised, “Hey, this chick has it all under control at home, and she does not sound like a frail human being!”

So, if I must make a comparison with anyone, it’s to the wife in Proverbs 31.

Some time after this revelation, one of my girlfriends spoke to me about gender roles. She spoke clarity into my life.

“We are so busy comparing ourselves to men, that we fail to see God created us differently for different things. Think about it: God, the Holy Spirit and Jesus are One – but each play different roles. They don’t compare themselves to each other, or wish they could do what the other does. They are the perfect Trinity,” she told me.

“Of course we’re not God. But in a similar way, men and women are different and have different roles. Only we can do what we were created to do. Sure, a man could do what a mother does – but there’s nothing like a mother’s touch.”

Now, whenever I’m asked to do chores, there are days when I’m still that frustrated little girl. But I find strength when I do all these things for God, who gives me joy and love for others.

So, if I must make a comparison, it’s to the wife in Proverbs 31.

What a high standard to live up to! But with God, there is grace – and there’s nothing impossible for Him.

Conversations

We Recommend

Culture

When I was kicked out of OCS

by Raphael Chang

Culture

Birthday musings of a twenty-something: What is there to celebrate?

by Eudora Chuah

Faith

From whom all blessings flow

by Darius Leow

Do Good

Looking beyond appearances

by Tay Yong Thai | 22 September 2017, 2:10 PM

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” (1 Sam 16:7)

I recently watched a movie, The Dropbox. It’s a documentary about a pastor in South Korea, Lee Jong-rak, who built a “Dropbox” at his front door, through which nearly 600 babies have been saved. He built the Dropbox in one of the poorest districts of Seoul, after finding a little girl with Down Syndrome on his front steps in winter.

He wanted to find a way for mothers to surrender these abandoned babies without the babies dying.

As I watched the movie, tears kept flowing out of my eyes as I witnessed Pastor Lee’s single-mindedness and dedication to protect and love the abandoned babies, most of whom were born with disabilities. It really moved me to see his love and persistence in caring for the many children under his charge.

Some of these children are so severely disabled that they will have to rely on the help of others to survive their entire life.

“Many people think it is better for them to go to heaven as quickly as possible, because life on earth would be too difficult for them. But God sent them to the earth with disabilities,” Pastor Lee said.

“They’re not the unnecessary ones in the world. God sent them to earth with a purpose. Disabled children teach many people, change many people and help people reflect upon themselves, which is why they are the educators of society.”

One of those who was changed by the children was Brian Ivie, the director of the movie who was not a Christian at the point of making the movie. But he saw Pastor Lee going all-out to protect the children. He heard the Pastor saying: “No one dies here – I’m going to take care of you. I’m going to go after you, even though you may never know that I’ve done this for you, even though you may never know that you needed to be rescued.”

Pastor Lee’s love for the orphans mirrored the love of the Father. And everything changed for Brian when he saw himself as one of those children.

Indeed, “God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God” (1 Corinthians 1:27-29).

In a world that idolises beauty, success and perfection, outward disability goes against the grain of perfection which many strive for.

Yet God does not look at man’s outward appearance – He looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). To God, sin is a much more obvious disability then physical disabilities. The sins we harbour in our lives and in our hearts make us the ones with true disabilities and in need of love and help from God.

Which is why we need to put even more effort into getting our inner, spiritual life right than in our physical pursuits.

In our interactions with people who cross our path daily, are we able to look beyond someone’s physical appearance and look with compassion at the spiritual needs that are waiting to be met (Matthew 9:36-38)?

Do we diligently and intentionally seek out the lost, just like the women in the parable of the lost coin (Luke 15:8)?

It is my prayer that God will grant us the discernment to look beyond the outward appearance and look with compassion on the heart that yearns for the love of God.


This article was first published on YCKC website and was republished with permission.

Conversations

We Recommend

Culture

Taylor Swift says the old Taylor Swift is dead. What a shame

by Wong Siqi

Relationships

Singleness and contentment: Are they mutually exclusive?

by Samantha Chin

Culture

In Singapore, we must choose life

by Serene Ho

Do Good

‘We want to be their family while they’re in Singapore’: Migrant Worker Ministry

by Tan Wei En | 22 September 2017, 11:24 AM

The Migrant Worker Ministry in Hope Church Singapore was started in 2014, by a few church members who felt the need to advance the Gospel to migrant workers from China who are based in Singapore.

I was one of those we started the cell group for those involved in the ministry, and later on took over the co-leadership of the ministry. Since then, we’ve witnessed how the lives of these migrant workers were changed when they came to know God.

Initially, I thought it would be very difficult for them to understand what we were sharing with them. Apart from the language barrier, I thought that their cultural background might hinder them.

But God is amazing. While not all migrant workers have many years of education, it has never been a barrier – God’s love can be experienced by anyone who sincerely seeks Him. Proverbs 8:17 tells us: “I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.”

At the beginning, it was quite encouraging to see many migrant workers joining us. They all came with eager hearts to receive and find out more about Christ.

But soon, it became challenging when many of them stopped coming due to their work schedules. We also found it quite difficult to find time and disciple them individually as well.

So each time we plan for our services or cell groups, we never really know how many people will turn up. Our services’ attendance can vary quite drastically – we can never predict the attendance of our events. We only know when the event starts!

During these times of uncertainty, there were many moments when I was losing hope that people would come.

But we do it all by faith. We continue to persevere in meeting them, and encouraging them to come for cell group. We really want them to experience the grace and love from God.

Our vision is to see these new believers start their own cell groups in China. We hope that when they return home, they’ll bring the Gospel with them and start their own cell groups and churches there.

I’ve come to see that God is always faithful. We are merely His vessels, and He will see His work come to completion in His own timing.

And God has been faithful in leading His people to Him in every service we have conducted so far. Sure, we don’t have hundreds of people in each service. But there still really is no greater joy than witnessing the transformation of lives in Him.

Our vision is to see these new believers start their own cell groups in China. The idea is to be their family, and disciple them well when they are in Singapore. We hope that when they return home, they’ll bring the Gospel with them and start their own cell groups and churches there.

We’ve learnt a lot from our mistakes along the way. We’ve gone through many changes, like how our programmes are run, and where they’re located. 

We started at a place in Chinatown, then shifted to Lavender. Now, we are based in Geylang. The previous locations were comfortable places, with good facilities. However, because they weren’t near supermarkets, or the migrant workers’ living quarters, many would hesitate to come.

We really saw how we needed to meet their felt needs before sharing the gospel effectively. We’ve evolved to better cater to their needs and find more ways to engage them.

It’s difficult to have faith in the midst of messiness. The team experienced an especially tough time when we became really busy with our own work and personal life. The number of volunteers were dwindling, and the ministry seemed to be dying out. We were exhausted.

So we decided to start this ministry-specific cell group. The leadership team bonded when we witnessed how God was with us through the ups and downs. We held on to our Maker and continuously reminded each other that God must always remain at the centre of what we do, no matter what happens.

Thankfully, God kept us together.

If anyone out there is thinking of starting a similar ministry, my advice for you would be: Don’t do it for anyone, or even for yourself. Do it for God. He is the only constant in life, one that will never fade away.

Because of this perspective, I now have a better understanding of what it means to serve from a position of “rest”. It sounds like a contradiction, but the amazing thing about God is that our service to Him will never be more important than our relationship with Him. We want to be Mary – not Martha.

So, when we serve from a position of rest and as a recipient of His Grace, we are able to witness the power of God working through and in us. And all glory belongs to Him.

Conversations

We Recommend

Culture

In Singapore, we must choose life

by Serene Ho

Culture

A divine exchange: Lessons from my semester abroad

by Gabriel Ong

Faith

From whom all blessings flow

by Darius Leow

Culture

Influencer or influenza: What are we spreading online?

by Charmaine Ang | 21 September 2017, 6:12 PM

Along with the rise of social media platforms – with Facebook hitting almost 2 billion global monthly active users, more than a quarter of the world’s population – many have risen to popularity and become what we know as “influencers”.

Apart from singers, actors and other celebrities, social media has allowed influencers to come from almost anywhere and any background; as long as you have a following, you have influence. It’s easy: The larger the following, the larger the influence.

Suddenly, just about anybody can be an influencer.

There is nothing wrong with being influencers on such platforms. I think it is great when we are put into positions of being that town built on a hill, the light that cannot be hidden under a bowl (Matthew 5:14-16).

With great power comes great potential for irresponsibility.

However, many times things can go wrong. With great power comes great potential for irresponsibility. And instead of being positive influencers who push the human race forward, we’ve become a network of negativity, spreaders of social influenza that stumbles, cripples and sickens.

As Christians, all the more we want our online influence to mirror the God in whom we profess to have faith in. All the more we are exposed to a watching world who has access to dimensions of our life previously not available to most.

Here are a few reflections I have made on how then we must live in this digital space:

1. REMEMBER WE ARE DUST

“This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith.” (Romans 3:22-25)

My friends and I often joke with each other and use this line: You Christian or not. Jokes aside, I think one thing that struck me was that Christian or not, I am not righteous on my own. I am not as great as I think I am.

And truth of the matter is that change in action and freedom from my own wretchedness is a journey – one where I sometimes fail and have to go back to God, my moral compass and Saviour and try again.

Social media might want me to think that way, but I am not God. You are not God. We all have sinned and fallen short of His glory.

2. SEARCH MY ONLINE HEART, O GOD

In one of my classes, we learnt about the concept of social desirability bias. It is but human to want to present the best of ourselves to others. I question myself from time to time as I type a social media post or even as I read something on social media: Am I being real? Or am I posting this with the intention of showing off?

Consider the hashtag #blessed. While it is often used as a synonym for “lucky”, especially when portraying a good – even extravagant – lifestyle, its dictionary meaning is to be “endowed with divine favour and protection”.

What is real blessing? Jesus used the word repeatedly in his famous Sermon on the Mount when he talked about the Beatitudes. It is in situations where the odds might be stacked against us and we see the hand of God that we know that we have that “divine favour and protection”.

A friend once shared with me that she is uncomfortable saying too much on social media because it reveals too much of our lives. At the same time, I’ve also found myself very encouraged when I read about the reality of God through people’s vulnerable and authentic sharing of their lives online.

It is my choice of what I want to share and how much I want to share, but one thing I try to actively do is to prayerfully allow God to search me as I write and prepare a social media post. What am I posting? Why am I posting this? These are the best filters, IMHO.

3. WHAT WOULD JESUS POST

As an online citizen with influence over those in my social media space, I take as much ownership and responsibility for what I post, share and comment on. During my short internship in a cyber wellness department, I learnt that being a keyboard warrior and online vigilante can often be similar, if not scarier than an outright bully.

Of course, it is important to be able to distinguish right from wrong and stand up for the truth (2 Timothy 2:24-26). But while we are called correct wrongs, it is also important to adopt the correct attitudes – to be kind to everyone and respond in gentleness, with the intention of restoring the person.

Kindness leads to repentance (Romans 2:4). Conviction and subsequent turning back to what’s right comes from an encounter with love, not condemnation.

You may not feel worthy to own the title, but you are an influencer in your own right.  We all have a voice to speak up and share the goodness of God to those who follow us – that they may one day follow Jesus.

Conversations

We Recommend

Faith

Love insurance for the brokenhearted

by Wong Siqi

Faith

The fall from grace, and the long road home

by Ashley Chan

Culture

Should couples travel together?

by Gabriel Ong

Culture

My ideal picture of life

by | 21 September 2017, 3:51 PM

I’m a dreamer.

I have an idealistic version of every possible situation in life. I take joy in imagining the best case scenarios and its fruition.

Some ideals are universal: We all want loving and conflict-free relationships, jobs we never dread going to, a happy family, a decent education. At the end of the day, we all want lives filled with joy and fulfilment.

The problem is: Whose joy? Whose fulfilment? Whose ideal life are we living: Ours or God’s?

For example, instead of finding joy in our work, what if this joy could be found in seeing God working through our work? Instead of seeking happiness in what a partner can offer us, how about finding it by looking at how God has been moulding us as a couple?

I’ve had to put some of my dreams to death. My human response was to be frustrated with God — I felt like I had to make a huge sacrifice in giving up the things that I thought would have brought me much joy.

In my finite mind, forsaking my dreams came at a huge cost. These were dreams I’d spent most of my life chasing and yearning after. My picture of an ideal husband. My idea of a dream job.

Without Him, we can never have true, pure and unbridled joy. Everything else is a discounted version of it.

But I’m reminded that the trade-up is infinitely, always in my favour when I choose His will over my own. God is the giver of my purpose and joy. He’s the one who crafts the things that I derive joy from and puts this same desire into my DNA. I believe that God knows me, and would never hold anything good from me if I walk with Him (Psalm 84:11).

I still struggle with feelings of regret whenever I think about the dreams that I’ve had to lay down. But I’ve learnt that instead of shaking my fists at God, I should go to Him with my requests and doubts, knowing that He will give me a peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:6-7).

I’ve learnt that while I shouldn’t always pursue the things that I want, I can always pursue joy in Him. He honours those who honour him (1 Samuel 2:30). When I seek God in all I do, I will ultimately find the joy that I’ve been looking for.

Ultimately, He knows what lights me up and what gives me passion and satisfaction. If I follow him all the days of my life, goodness and love will follow me (Psalm 23:6).

So instead of striving to make it on my own, blindly pursuing the fleeting joys of life, I’ve learnt to find it all with Him. Even if I’ve had to let go of my dreams, I know that He won’t let go of me (Hebrews 13:5).

Without Him, we can never have true, pure and unbridled joy. Everything else is a discounted version of it. God alone is the fullness of our joy (Psalm 16:11).

/ sarakohxx@gmail.com

Sara is inquisitive and a self-professed conversationalist. She hopes to learn something new with every interaction and also happens to enjoy writing about them.

Conversations

We Recommend

Faith

How should we read the Bible?

by Edric Sng

Culture

No agenda love: Carrying the heart of God

by Charis Tan

Culture

Thoughts on THAT St Hilda’s video: In an online brawl, are you bully, bystander, or peacemaker?

by Sara Koh

Article list

I’m not ready to meet you, God

I looked down on women

Looking beyond appearances

‘We want to be their family while they’re in Singapore’: Migrant Worker Ministry

Influencer or influenza: What are we spreading online?

My ideal picture of life