As a freshman in university, I remember that one of the things I wanted to get out of my college life was to challenge my own limited worldview.
Coming from a Junior College that was largely homogenous in its demographics, university was like fresh spring waters for me as I got to meet people of different backgrounds and beliefs about life.
As a freethinker then, I’d always considered myself to be an open person, ready to listen to what each religion had to say about life and, in certain cases, the afterlife.
Until I met my current boyfriend, K.
K and I met while working in the same school committee. The two of us were like-minded in many ways and I admired his strong sense of leadership and values. As time passed, we grew closer and our friendship gradually progressed into something deeper.
However, he was a Christian – and I was not. And what I knew was that Christians are not supposed to date non-believers because it is “wrong“.
However, I challenged that thought: Why couldn’t we just respect each others’ religion or lack thereof? Just because I did not share the same religion as him, dating me was “wrong”?
I took things very personally and felt hurt and dejected. But neither was I open to embracing a religion, as much as K tried to share about what he believed in. I was caught between a rock and a hard place: Should I give this relationship up, or should I give this so-called “truth” a chance?
As feelings would have it, I chose the latter and began my journey of exploring the faith. However, it was far from easy.
K patiently shared his testimony with me, brought me to church and also had a few of his friends speak to me about the Christianity. But I found it difficult to relate to the sermons and sharing, which made it difficult to continue trying.
My family was non-religious and my closest circle of friends were non-Christian. What was this even worth? Tears would often accompany the tough conversations I had with K about religion. What if I ultimately concluded that my idea of “truth” was different from his? Did that mean we were not meant for each other?
Did that mean I was not meant for this kingdom his God promised to those who believed in Him?
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)
This verse spoke to me many times, through the friends I met and the articles I read on my own. I held onto it, believing that the struggles with faith at that period of time would some day bring me closer to the truth, as long as I sought it wholeheartedly.
Thankfully, by God’s grace, many instrumental people were sent into my life at the right times – and with every encounter, my faith in Him grew stronger. Most importantly, when I finally decided to put my faith in Jesus Christ, I knew my decision to follow Him was altogether independent of my relationship with K.
This whole journey of seeking took about a year, and there were many times I wanted to give up. But in retrospect, it made me realised that God fulfils His promises faithfully – that as long as you truly seek, you will find.
A relationship with someone who does not understand and share the same love of God can never be a relationship that is all-satisfying and all-glorifying to Him.
As a believer now, I’ve come to understand and fully agree with 2 Corinthians 6:14, to not be yoked with unbelievers. A relationship with someone who does not understand and share the same love of God as you can never be a relationship that is all-satisfying and all-glorifying to Him.
So if you’re a non-believer dating a Christian, please consider the fact that we don’t merely couple with a person in the body, but in the soul and spirit as well – two becoming one.
You cannot hope to marry a person but not his or her faith; at first that might seem plausible, but there are far too many instances where it becomes an unbridgeable gap in a couple. At best, you share some of your life, but not all of it. What a shame that would be.
And if you truly love the person you’re with, the least you could do for them is to spend some time with the God they love. Who knows? He might grow on you. ❤