My name is Fidelia. I’m 25 – and I’m a cancer survivor.
I was an ordinary child growing up as a third generation Christian. Grandma would bring me to Sunday School, which was where I learned about God and how to talk to Him through prayer. So, whenever I fell sick or felt fearful of exams, I asked God for help and comfort.
Little did I know, God would become my pillar of strength for the tough times ahead.
When I was in primary three, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had to go through six gruelling months of chemotherapy. At times, I really felt the treatment’s side effects taking their toll on me physically and emotionally.
I would pray and ask God for comfort each time I felt overwhelmed or in pain, just as I’d learnt to do when I was younger. And every time I did so, a sense of comfort and peace would come over me – a feeling of being safe and assured. There were even times when I teared simply because I was touched by the immensity of God’s love.
With little else to do in that period, I cultivated a relationship with this loving God. I spent a lot time in His presence, and it was this intimate relationship which brought me through. My dean in Tung Ling Bible School asked me if I feared death back then. My answer was no. Because of the incredible peace and joy which came from being in God’s presence, death did not have a grip on me.
In the children’s ward, many kids had to be carried in and pinned down as they struggled against the pain.
I wondered what made me such a cooperative child. I realised it was the complete trust I had in my parents, believing they loved me and had my best interests at heart. This helped me look past my temporary pain. Through them, I learned I can trust my God as a Father in the same way I trusted them.
But just when I thought the worst was over – I had a relapse when I was 11. This time it was a lot harder for me as I knew full well what was ahead. I hadn’t known that a relapse was possible. But now that I did, I realised it could happen anytime, anywhere.
Beyond struggling physically, I began to wonder if God had really set me free. But Father God – in His dependable love as always – reached out to me. He spoke to me from a passage in the Bible about the birth of a special child named Samuel. He was born from the desperate cry of a praying mother who was previously barren. She had prayed fervently for a child of her own and vowed to dedicate him to the Lord.
I was struck that perhaps such a prayer might have been prayed over me, and I kept that thought in my heart. When I had the opportunity to ask my mum, she confirmed that she had indeed promised to dedicate me to the Lord if He preserved my life!
What a revelation that God loves me! He is writing every chapter in the story of my life. He chose me and set me apart from the start. I am so sure of His love – I no longer had any grounds to doubt if He will finish this story He has started.
I have now been completely cleared of cancer for more than 10 years! While I celebrate my good health from God’s healing, I hold even tighter to my relationship with Him.
I have learnt so much more about God’s love and His Father’s heart. While we can never fully comprehend the length, width and height of His love, I just want to encourage anyone who is currently fighting a battle: Look forward to the healing and victory which come from the Lord, while rejoicing and taking comfort in the knowledge that He is with you in the suffering.
My confidence comes from what He says in Psalm 27:13. I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Even when there’s cancer. Even when there are trials and hard times.
And you can know this same God too.