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To my fellow Christian introverts: The struggle is real, I know

by | 27 December 2016, 2:11 PM

After reading this piece, an extrovert had something to add, as always. Read To my fellow Christian extroverts: The struggle is real, I know.

We are made introverted for a reason. It’s not a liability – but it shouldn’t be an excuse, either.

I am an introvert.

To be exact, I’m an INFJ. Out of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, the INFJ type is believed to be the rarest, forming less than 1 per cent of humanity. We are the most introverted of all introverts.

As an INFJ, I struggle in Church. The need for me to even be physically present in Church, amongst the people, can be daunting.

I’ve lived with the perception that the Church loves the extroverted Christian, and the extroverted Christian loves the Church.

The extroverted Christian is the person who might rally the people passionately, be the first to befriend any visitors and the last to leave because they are always busy chatting with others. They seem to radiate charm, passion and confidence.

But for us introverts, there seems to be just no room to breathe comfortably in Church.

We face challenges that others might find baffling. There’s the inevitable round of greetings: “If you’re visiting for the first time today, stand up so we can welcome you!” Then there are the painful icebreakers: “Get up, find someone you don’t know and tell them what you’re thankful for this week!” And there’s the much-dreaded public prayer: “Let’s have Introvert end the meeting by leading us in prayer!”

So it’s easy for introverts like me to feel discouraged and out of place in a church setting. Sometimes it just seems like we introverts just aren’t as good as “being Christian”.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been sat down and challenged by well-meaning church leaders, who tell me: “You’ve got to be more outspoken!”, “You need to be more assertive when leading the team!”, “Why do you stutter when you pray? Why are your prayers so short?” and even “Why are you so anti-social?”

😔  Introverts are so misunderstood. So, to help you, and to help us, here’s …

THE EXTROVERTS’ GUIDE TO INTROVERTS

1. We’re not anti-social – we just prefer smaller groups

Introverts are not anti-social just because we don’t fancy social gatherings and we prefer to have one-on-one conversations. Introverts like to be alone more than we like to be with large groups of people. Introverts restore our energy by spending quality time with ourselves, or an individual person instead. Spending time with large groups of people can be draining and frustrating to us.

In a church setting, introverts sometimes may choose to only speak to a single person at any one time instead of an entire group of people. Just because you don’t see us rallying a crowd of people, or hosting a group of new visitors, doesn’t mean that we are spending our time in church hermitting and being anti-social.

2. We’re not sulking – we just want some space

Introverts are also largely misunderstood for being unhappy and upset all the time.

My life group once decided to go out to a restaurant with a live band playing. The lights were so dim, the music was so loud and there was so much chattering around me. It was overwhelming, and I kept quiet for most part of the night because I felt drained just being in that place.

Later that night, my leader asked me privately if I was unhappy about something because of what she saw as my “glum” demeanour. The truth was that I wasn’t unhappy about anything. I simply felt too overwhelmed by my noisy and crowded surroundings.

3. We’re not helplessly meek – we can be effective leaders, too

A huge misconception about introverts is that since we are so introverted, we have no leadership skills.

When it comes to areas of serving in church, some of us may prefer more behind-the-scenes roles. People tend to expect us introverts to volunteer for the more “silent roles” by default. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t serve in the more “extroverted” roles, as an usher, worship leader, preacher or even the senior pastor.

The misconceptions about introverts could potentially result in the culture where unique individuals are brushed aside and dismissed. But we are all made different and unique; we shouldn’t be expected to fit into cookie-cutter stereotypes. God uses all kinds of people for His purposes. Many leaders in the Bible didn’t feel capable of doing what God asked, but He found use for their strengths and even their weaknesses. God saw potential and used them powerfully – regardless of personality type.

INTROVERTED, BUT NOT SELF-FOCUSED

Some of us are naturally louder and more outgoing, while others are just naturally inclined to be quiet. I believe that God made me introverted. I am naturally quiet and this is part of God’s perfect design.

My inclination towards quietness and solitude helps me to know myself better. It helps me to understand things better. It helps me work better. It helps me to focus on God. Sometimes, in my quiet moments, I hear the most wonderful things from God.

I see why He made me an introvert. But that doesn’t mean that I allow myself to stay in my comfort zone all the time.

My natural inclination is to shun people and stay home alone, rather than to be with the crowds and serving people. I believe this inclination can become self-centred and selfish, if I’m not intentional in my actions and interactions.

God calls us to be willing to deny our desires (Luke 9:23). The Christian life is a life of self-denial. It is a life of saying, “Even though this — staying home alone, opting out of gatherings, choosing to remain silent – is what I want, my identity as a servant of God compels me to do something different instead.”

I’m slowly learning that at the end of the day, introvert or extrovert, these personality traits are merely what we are and not who we are. If we elevate these traits and choose to let them control our lives, we’re using them to justify selfishness instead of selflessness.

We are all made different, for good reasons. But our strengths (introspection) cannot become our weaknesses (the refusal to connect with the people of God). So, to those who still think I’m an anti-social hermit – I’m working on it. Give me some space.

/ christina@thir.st

Christina is a designer who memorises Pantone swatches. She is an INFJ who loves matcha, 80% dark chocolate, beautiful typography and folk jazz. She also dreams of raising her own pet penguin one day.

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How does discipleship work?

by Calvin Hong & Shawn Wong, Awaken Generation | 20 August 2018, 4:55 PM

Disciple.

There are multiple times in the Bible where this word is mentioned. But what is the essential meaning of the word “disciple”? Quite simply, a disciple is a disciplined follower of Christ.

In Jewish culture, where rabbis (teachers of the law) are well-respected, children begin memorising the Torah (first five books of the Bible) from around the age of 8-10. Yet being a disciple is not just about reading the Bible, but being disciplined to live the life it describes.

So what does it mean to be a disciple in our current day? Are we true followers of not just His teachings, but in how we choose to live our lives? Let’s explore this.

“Now large crowds were going along with Him; and He turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it”” (Luke 14:25-28)

… being a disciple is not just about reading the Bible, but being disciplined to live the life it describes.

A SINGLE-MINDED DECISION

At events, in the midst of “large crowds”, people tend to get excited: the atmosphere, the lights, the music! But I love how the words of Jesus always cut right through all the hype and go straight to the heart. It may be easy to say yes when everyone around you is doing so.

But when all the hype is stripped away, without the influence of crowds, how will you choose to live? Being a disciple means to single-mindedly dedicate yourself to follow Christ, without being tossed back and forth.

Luke 9:62 says: “But Jesus said to him, “No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”” It’s a firm decision, one that is your own to make without regret (looking back). Know that it’s no longer about you or your preferences, but about complete obedience to God.

CARRYING YOUR CROSS

It’s interesting that Jesus mentioned the cross in this passage even before His crucifixion.

He was talking about the pain, suffering, humiliation and sacrifices that may come upon giving God your “yes”. The Kingdom of God is not for the faint-hearted. To truly know Him, we have to be willing to go through hardship. Jesus made it clear for us so that there need not be any second-guessing.

If we want to follow Him, there is a cost.

Trials in this life remind us that our strength is not our own. Humanly, it’s impossible to live this life without the power of the Holy Spirit. Life’s crucibles keep us reliant on God as the source of all our strength and ability – refining and humbling us.

If we want to follow Him, there is a cost.

ACCOUNTABILITY TO SPIRITUAL AUTHORITY

Godly governance occurs in the context of family.

That’s why God implemented spiritual authority: Fathers, mothers, leaders, elders. As we grow as disciples, it’s important that we maintain accountability to those in spiritual authority over us. Their authority is not given so they can rule over us, but to help us grow in maturity and teach us to obey the commandments in the Bible.

So let’s ask ourselves: Am I willing to lay down my rights and agendas for His? Am I willing to turn away from my old lifestyle? Will our decision to follow be half-hearted or single-minded?

Our responses to these questions will determine the trajectory of our discipleship journey.


This article was first published on Awaken Generation’s website, and is republished with permission.

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What’s your anthem?

by | 20 August 2018, 1:07 PM

I am a massive fan of the German football club, Bayern Munich.

I keep up with all of FC Bayern’s matches and buy the latest jerseys. I even celebrated in public when the club won its sixth straight league title in April. I also bought the tickets to see them play at the National Stadium at the International Champions Cup last year.

Though Bayern lost 2-0 in that match, I was still awestruck by how the fans united together as we sang the anthem together. Race or background didn’t matter. Though we were losing, we continued to cheer and roar the club’s anthem loudly and proudly.

So I was struck by an anthem’s power for unity. Think of “La Marseillaise”, the anthem that spurred the French middle and lower classes on to battle in the heat of the French Revolution. Anthems unite, rallying people to a common purpose and hope under a common banner.

So, what’s your anthem? What’s your cause, passion and hope?

My life is driven by the knowledge that God is the Creator.

In Genesis 1:1, it says that God created the heavens and the earth. Just think about that. From the grandest of galaxies to the smallest of ants – everything is designed by Him. Every evening, I look at the bright orange, yellow and sometimes purple sunset, and I can’t help but be in awe of what an artist my God is.

Humans create too. But we can’t make a paper plane without paper, and we can’t make houses without bricks. Yet God made something out of nothing. We know from Genesis 1:2 that the Earth was without form, yet God simply spoke and all of creation came into existence.

That never fails to blow my mind.

From the grandest of galaxies to the smallest of ants – everything is designed by Him.

And somehow this awesome God is not a distant god: He is a loving and intimate Father.

My God is intimately personal with each and every individual on this planet. 1 John 4:10 says that before we even loved God, He first loved us. He has led me into deeper love with Him in more ways than I can count. From heartbreak to breakthrough, He’s led me on an adventure that’s been nothing short of amazing.

And day after day, I am reminded that He loves me. In spite of all my sin and darkness, He loves me to the point that He would die on the cross for me. How could it be that God Himself would take on the punishment of torture, ridicule, pain and death – punishments that I rightfully deserved?

And by nothing I could have done, He calls me His son. This love from the all-powerful God leaves me in awestruck wonder.

This is my God: The Creator of the Universe, from the immense expanse of the Milky Way to the very atoms that form the universe – the intimate Father who would in spite of all my sin and shame, take on the punishment I deserved so He could call me His child.

Those are the words in my anthem, and I would gladly give my life for the Gospel to be proclaimed till the whole world sees!


Want to know more about God and His love? Come on down for “ANTHEM: Till the whole world sees”, a worship concert by the youth ministry of Trinity Christian Centre on 2 September 2018, 7:30pm at Trinity@Paya Lebar.

DM @trinity.ignyte on Instagram for more information.

/ junheng@thir.st

JunHeng is a 100% extrovert who loves caffeine – lots of caffeine. He also likes HTHTs, jamming and eating good food. Did he mention he loves caffeine?

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Twenty years on

by Rev Dr Tan Soo-Inn, Graceworks | 20 August 2018, 10:42 AM

During the 2018 World Cup, my darling wife Bernice reminded me that it has been 20 years since my struggle with clinical depression.

The 1998 World Cup was in full swing then, played to the tunes of Ricky Martin’s Cup of Life. I normally enjoy watching a good game of football, but I didn’t enjoy any of the 1998 World Cup matches. Most of the day I was lying on the sofa, with no strength or will to do anything. The TV screen would be showing football matches, but I was unable to enjoy watching any of them.

One of the symptoms of depression is anhedonia. According to Healthline, “People who experience anhedonia have lost interest in activities they used to enjoy and have a decreased ability to feel pleasure. It’s a core symptom of major depressive disorder, but it can also be a symptom of other mental health disorders”.

I was a single parent then and though we had house help, I was the one doing the marketing and whatever parenting I could, which was nowhere near enough.

I was in constant emotional pain. My psychiatrist told me I would get over the worst of my depression in six months, but when you are depressed six months is a lifetime because you live your life day by day, moment by moment … and you don’t really know when the pain will end.

Looking back, I don’t know how I survived that black period of my life. I am grateful for my psychiatrist who saw me once a week in that acute phase of my depression. In my despair, I would phone him a few times in between visits and he would always take my calls, even though he was probably attending to other patients.

He prescribed an antidepressant which helped to stabilise my brain chemistry, but what was most helpful was the “talk therapy” – the healing conversations I had with this caring person.

I also had a counsellor who was based in Singapore, the late Anthony Yeo.

Once in a while, we would chat on the phone. When I was stronger, I would come down to Singapore to see him and he always made time for me. And I thank God that I had learnt to use a computer by then, so that much of my “talk therapy” with Anthony could occur over email.

Then there were the many who prayed, the many who helped out with practical stuff like ferrying the boys to various appointments, and the small group of friends who didn’t ask you to “snap out of it” or to “trust God more and you will be healed” … but just journeyed with you.

My psychiatrist was right. I did get over the worst of my depression in about six months, but it took me about two years to get back to anything near my usual strength levels, and then a longer journey to joy and confidence.

Depression is now out of sight, just beyond my peripheral vision, but whenever it threatens to reappear – I get help.

But it has been 20 years. God heals, but he takes His time and He does it His way.

I am in a good place now though some wounds and scars remain and some of them will only be fully healed in the life to come. As Frodo discovered in JRR Tolkien’s The Return of the King, some wounds cannot be healed this side of life.

“Are you in pain, Frodo?” said Gandalf quietly as he rode by Frodo’s side.

“Well, yes I am,” said Frodo. “It is my shoulder. The wound aches, and the memory of darkness is heavy on me. It was a year ago today.”

“Alas! there are some wounds that cannot be wholly cured,” said Gandalf.

“I fear it may be so with mine,” said Frodo.

And some wounds can only be healed beyond the Western Seas in Valinor, Tolkien’s version of paradise.

“And the ship went out into the High Sea and passed into the West, until at last on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a far green country under a swift sunrise.”

Depression is now out of sight, just beyond my peripheral vision, but whenever it threatens to reappear – I get help.

We await the return of Jesus to usher in the new heavens and the new earth, where there will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain (Revelation 21:4).

But we still need to live our lives as best we can until it is our turn to board that ship. So, though I don’t often think of it now, I am glad for the reminder that it has been 20 years since I was diagnosed with clinical depression – two decades that the Lord has carried me through and repaid much of what the locusts had eaten (Joel 2:25).

That was something my good friend Joo Chong told me God would do, on a hot afternoon in Sitiawan, at the funeral of my first wife, Hee Ling.

So, thank you Lord for your mercy. Thank you for allowing me to drink from your cup of life. Thank you for the opportunity to now point others towards that cup.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)


This article was first published on Graceworks’ website, and is republished with permission.

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A confession: I was not the prophet I claimed I was

by Judah Koh | 16 August 2018, 5:30 PM

I’m sorry.

I was part of something that I’m now remorseful about. It took me a long time to realise the impact my words and actions had on others. Today, I lay myself bare with a humble confession and a sincere seeking of forgiveness.

I am sorry. Really.

I had been a Christian for about 3 years when began to I embrace the supernatural movement. Keen and eager to jump on the bandwagon to feed my self-serving fame and sense of importance, I quickly learnt the trick – I pretended to be a miracle worker.

In those days, treasure hunts and fire tunnels were the norm, and a vision “downloaded” from God was a given for any prayer meeting. From church to church, I wore my newly-discovered spiritual identity and boldness on my sleeves as I preached.

I never saw how the miracles I performed were under the guise of pride.

My messages generally sounded like this: “I am at the forefront of the movement, help these sceptics and dense people who could not hear, see, nor know, and are unwilling to step out. Help them! They need help!”

It was fun and I thought I was cool. Most of all, it built up my confidence – especially when I misused verses like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” and “In the last days, old men will dream dreams and young men will see visions” to feed my ego (Philippians 4:13, Acts 2:17).

I never saw how the miracles I performed were under the guise of pride. I reasoned to myself, if a man who split the Red Sea could describe himself as humble (Numbers 12:3), why couldn’t I? I even professed myself to be one of the upcoming spiritual giants! That was the audacity of my claims back then.

I had no shame.

I eventually stopped what I was doing because I saw how my posture was not Biblical. I was twisting Scripture to justify my actions. While I still believe that miracles can happen, I knew I needed to be re-grounded back in the Word.

So I left my past behind. I thought my heart was being made right and I could just move on and things would be fine.

But they are not.

In my days of deception five years ago, I had told someone that I saw an angel while ministering to him. Recently, someone who had been there asked me if I had indeed seen an angel.

When confronted, my mind raced through how to get myself out of the sticky situation. I could lie or I could divert the attention by making up excuses. But I did not want to hide anymore, and so I came clean. I just had to.

“I did not see an angel.”

When I prophesied, I think I led myself to believe that what I was saying was true. I felt that impulsive need to say whatever that comes to mind. Isn’t this considered good stewardship? To pass on the prophecy, by faith?

But what I didn’t know then was how it left so many doubts in people’s minds when they heard what I said. Because it led them to question themselves: “Why can’t I hear God like him, or see visions like him? Doesn’t God care or does He love me less?”

It was more important that I preserved the facade of my “greatness” than to consider the needs of those I thought I was ministering to. It was all done in self-interest.

I thought things would be fine if I just stopped participating in those activities but I was wrong. I need something more.

If I have stumbled you in your faith journey, I need your forgiveness.

People have been healed not because I have a gift of healing, but because He is a Healer.

So today, I want to make that confession and make things right. I had not seen what I claimed to have seen. I did not hear what I said I did. It was exciting and fun for a moment, but I do not want to live merry and then die irresponsibly.

I hope you will forgive me, and ask that I get to make things right again.

God is a good God and I return all glory to Him for all the good that He has done.

I want to be clear that I still believe in signs and wonders. Miracles. But I’ve come to a realisation that it’s not about the miracle-working man, but the God of miracles.

People have been healed not because I have a gift of healing, but because He is a Healer and He demonstrates compassion and mercy to those whom He loves. God speaks and nudges not because I have the gift of vision or prophecy, but because He is a God who listens and answers prayers, and He will guide and be found by those who seek Him with all their hearts.

Even when things do not happen according to my prayers, God continues to be good. Like Daniel’s friends, I pledge my commitment toward the one and only God even if He doesn’t do what I want.

“If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” (Daniel 3:17-18)

This lesson has been painful yet precious to me. Painful because I came to the realisation that I have played a part in stumbling the faith of my brothers and sisters in Christ; precious because I experienced how great God’s grace is to me through the assurance of my salvation despite what I’d done (1 John 1:9).

I want to make things right today. I confess that I’d been a fluke. I do not need to perform signs and wonders to boost my ego. I want to come clean to say that God alone suffices for me.

I hope you’ll forgive me.

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Are you willing to be used by God?

by Dawn Seow | 15 August 2018, 6:13 PM

The author attended City Harvest Church’s Emerge Conference, a youth event held between July 13 and 15.


Wu Yuzhuang, the pastor who oversees Emerge, delivered an encouraging message on a virtually unknown Bible character, Shamgar.

Titling his sermon “The Man with a Wooden Stick”, Wu referred the audience to Shamgar in Judges 5:6. Shamgar came from a pagan people and he was a farmer. His only asset was an ox goad – a long piece of wood used to guide oxen.

“The ox goad is not a weapon of war,” Wu said, explaining that Shamgar was an ordinary man that God used to wipe out 600 Philistine warriors.

HOW DID SHAMGAR RECEIVE GOD’S ANOINTING?

Shamgar means to “hear and obey”. Wu inferred that Shamgar was a man given to praying and hearing the voice of God. “Prayer is like breathing to our spiritual life,” Wu elaborated, “the more you pray, the larger you become on the inside.”

When a person prays, he may see the dreams and visions God gives to him. He will begin to step out of the realm of limitations, into the realm of possibilities.

For Shamgar was also audacious. Wu imagined how Shamgar’s neighbours might have reacted when they found out that he wanted to fight the Philistines. They would have discouraged him and told him that he was just one man – that they needed a real leader like Joshua.

“You will hear that all your life,” warned Wu. “Whenever you desire to do something great for God, the cynics will say, ‘What can you do? You are only one man or woman, you are only a youth.’”

Prayer is like breathing to our spiritual life

Wu told the youths that to have faith is to have the capacity to take risks, even in the face of possible failure. He told stories of his own failures as a youth, how the first evangelistic meeting he conducted with his cell group was a flop, and how badly he prayed and preached the first time he did it in front of a crowd.

“But it takes courage to see a revival in your campus,” Wu encouraged. “Step out in faith and face your fears. If you’re not willing to take on the odds, you will never do anything great with your life.”

Another great quality Shamgar possessed was his emphasis on being anointed.

Reading 1 Samuel 10:26, Wu highlighted the fact that among these men that went with Saul, there was a group “whose hearts God has touched.”

“When a person experiences a touch of God, an ordinary man can become a mighty deliverer!” declared Wu. “A young shepherd like David can slay the mighty Goliath!”

He continued that although Saul was appointed as king of Israel, he was not anointed. On the other hand, David was anointed. Anointed by God, David did great works for Him in his lifetime.

Like David, Shamgar also went for the anointing. Wu turned his attention to the ox goad that Shamgar used as a weapon: “It was a three-meter stick, a very clumsy weapon. It was all Shamgar had, it was all that God put in his hands,” Wu said. “It doesn’t matter what is in your hands, but who is using it.”

The pastor challenged the youth, “What has God put into your hand? Are you willing to let God anoint it? Are you willing to pray until the anointing comes?”

It doesn’t matter what is in your hands, but who is using it.

God always use the hands of the willing, Wu told the congregation. Shamgar was willing to leave his home, his farm and his family to fight the Philistines.

“The opposite of willingness is stubbornness, and God can’t work through a stubborn person,” Wu said.

Wu told the youth that in his 21 years of ministry, he learned that it is difficult to find a willing Christian. Many Christians are full of excuses why they cannot serve.

Wu said, “If God can find just one willing person, He can bring a great revival in that generation.”

Shamgar also had persistence. He did not kill those 600 Philistines at one go. He did it one at a time, over weeks and months.

“For Shamgar, there was no shortcut,” the pastor pointed out. “No matter how long it took, Shamgar gave it his all. And how many of you know that persistence will always outlast persecution?”

Wu closed by encouraging the youths to be Shamgars of their generation. Even if they do not have much, he said, God can use them as long as they are willing.


This article was published on Citynews’ website, and is republished with permission.

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To my fellow Christian introverts: The struggle is real, I know

How does discipleship work?

What’s your anthem?

Twenty years on

A confession: I was not the prophet I claimed I was

Are you willing to be used by God?