This was a response written to Charmaine Ang’s story, “When the dreams in your heart are torn apart“.
Thank you for stepping out to share your testimony about God’s love and how He impacted your life. Truly, our God is magnificent and only wants the best for us. Your article very much relates to how much I experience God working in my life too.
Like you, my ambition was to be a doctor since I was four. My father is a doctor and my mum is a nurse, so for my whole life, I had the desire to be a doctor and wanted to be just like them.
I studied really hard, got into the top class in Secondary school, and later on, the courses I needed to take in Junior College. I thought I was all set to be a doctor in the future. Back then I even made prayers to God such as, “God, if you let me be a doctor, I promise I’ll never bother you again.”
I was young, immature and didn’t read the Word much. I didn’t grow up in a Christian family and had misconstrued views about God even though I went to church. In fact, I used to think that He was just a divine being who had to send Jesus Christ to die for our sins because we were flawed, and we were a trouble to Him. It was a wrong perception.
Subsequently, when my “A” level results came out, I was devastated. I didn’t do well enough to get into medical school. Like you, my dreams were crushed. I remember telling myself, what’s the point of going to church, praying daily and the likes – if God did not even care about me?
He said He promised a hope and a future for me, why did He not give me the best? I blamed God, and then backslided.
I know I must have hurt God a lot. Through the years, God drew me back to Him through various means. In His mercy, He showed that He indeed cared about me. I’ve now come to see Him as the Father who cares too much to give us lesser things.
It has been a decade, and I’m not a doctor. I’m an accountant. I’m not good at math, yet God showed me that I am an accountant only because of His strength and not mine. Giving me this occupation is a gift from Him, it is His calling for me.
When I first graduated, I couldn’t understand His plans as to why I was taking this degree. But it has been more than six years since I’ve become an accountant and I cherish the lessons He has taught me through the years.
I would never trade the dreams I thought I lost for the journey He took me through with Him.
I went for a mission trip last year in the Philippines. At the youth service, there was an altar call for those with broken dreams. Many stepped forward, and as I prayed at the altar for each of them, I felt their heart. I understood how these broken dreams had really made them upset.
I knew how it felt because I too journeyed through it.
But this I also knew: That God would eventually strengthen them and they will overcome, because He did the same for me.
Sometimes, God lets us go through certain journeys so that we may take away precious lessons. He wants us to have a glimpse and a piece of His heart, to eventually be a testimony of His goodness to others – to bring glory to His name, just like you have. 😊
May God continue to shower you with His grace and that you’ll continue to abide in Him. God bless you my sister in Christ!
This is a submission from a participant of our Greater Love Giveaway. From now till the end of March 2018, we are giving away a pack of limited edition Thir.st “Greater Love” Stickers in exchange for every story. Stories must have a personal/local angle and be of 800-1000 words. Send us yours here.