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“I was told I was doomed to fail”: Belinda Lee’s journey from insecurity to purpose

by | 26 January 2018, 2:20 PM

Artiste-host Belinda Lee is no stranger to most Singaporeans. You’ve seen her on TV, at the Star Awards (where she was voted one of Mediacorp’s Top 10 Most Popular Female Artistes four times), in adverts for her various endorsement deals, and even on the cover of the book she authored.

But while she seems to permanently be in the limelight, her past was far from glorious.

“I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth,” Belinda shares.

Belinda’s parents had three children to feed – she was the youngest. To make ends meet, Belinda’s mother took on various odd jobs, ranging from babysitting to sewing umbrellas, to folding joss paper or drying ikan bilis in baskets under the sun.

Each job paid a meagre wage – hence, every dollar and cent Belinda’s parents earned was precious.

“I felt that no one loved me, that I was nobody’s child.”

“As children, we were taught to be as thrifty as possible. My schoolmates would buy a few sets of school uniforms a year – but I could only afford one set a year. And I had to wear my school shoes till they were completely worn out and had holes in them.”

She adds: “Because of that, I was often judged and looked down upon by my school teachers and friends. Because of my shabby appearance.”

For example, Belinda says, as a Primary 1 pupil, there was an occasion when Primary 6 seniors came to bring their juniors to the canteen. One by one, they picked other children, until in the end, Belinda was the only one left in the classroom.

“没人选我。没人带我去吃东西。我觉得好难过,很伤心 。” I was so sad that no one chose me.

“At seven years old, I picked myself up and went to the canteen to eat alone.”

PICKED ON AT SCHOOL

She didn’t just feel judged by her fellow students, but by teachers as well. A teacher once made her stand on a bench as punishment, in front of her classmates.

“It was like I was standing on a stage so that everybody could see me. My teacher pointed her finger at me and told everyone that I was a bad role model. She said, ‘Don’t be messy like her! Look at her – she’s like a jungle girl. You must never be like her.'”

Aged about 8 or 9, young Belinda learnt the meaning of humiliation.

“I had never felt so ashamed, so rejected, and so condemned in my life. I felt that no one loved me, that I was nobody’s child,” she says.

“Since young, I’ve always yearned for acceptance, but no matter how hard I tried to please others, I was never accepted.

“I never had any words of affirmation when I was a little girl. I grew up believing that I was a low-life – people told me I would be doomed to fail when I grew up.”

INSECURE IN LOVE AND WORK

And true enough, life as a grown-up did not get any better. Belinda admitting to looking for love and acceptance in the wrong places.

“I had one failed relationship after another, and I’m not proud of it. All I was searching for was security and a sense of belonging with the man whom I was with,” she confesses.

She plunged deeper into darkness after each broken relationship. With her love life in a mess, her career wasn’t doing much better, with Belinda battling deep insecurity in her early years in the entertainment industry.

“I was very concerned with how people would look at me – do they like me? Do they not like me? The public’s opinion mattered so much to me that I became a people-pleaser. I would only say yes, and I would never say no. I didn’t dare to stand up for myself.

“I was afraid of offending or rejecting other people because I was afraid of being rejected.”

“Some would see me on the streets, come up to me, and tell it in my face that they would switch channels whenever they see me on TV.”

This led to her taking on projects she wasn’t comfortable with. In her own words, “I wasn’t exactly in my element hosting wacky variety shows. I just didn’t know how to be strong and to be something that I wasn’t.”

And if she didn’t like her own performance, the audience felt it all the more.

Recalls Belinda: “Some would see me on the streets, come up to me, and tell it in my face that they would switch channels whenever they see me on TV.”

It got so bad that Belinda was once voted “turn-off of the year” by a local newspaper.

“It was a very big blow to me. I tried my best, but my best was never good enough.”

Over time, she grew detached from work. Belinda was miserable – and on the verge of giving up.

FINDING HOPE

“I was still living life and resolving issues based on my own strength, but I was so tired,” she recalls. She was a Christian by then, but “still had no faith in God”. She questioned God: Did He even know or care about her situation at all?

She slipped into depression and wanted to end it all – both her work and her life.

At this lowest point of Belinda’s career, her company called her and told her about a new travel show, Find Me A Singaporean, which required her to travel off the beaten track around the world in search of Singaporeans in unique places.

But even this silver lining began with a dark cloud. “The reason they chose me was because another host wasn’t available. I thought to myself, ‘Huh? Why am I always the second choice? Why can’t I be the first choice?'”

Why am I always the second choice, she wondered. When Belinda hung up the phone, she wrestled with God.

“If this is a project that is planned by You and given by You, then You perform a miracle,” she told Him.

“I told Him what I wanted. I said I wanted the show to be on prime time, so that it would touch and impact the lives of many. That was my specific prayer,” Belinda recalls.

God answered that prayer. Find Me A Singaporean was aired on prime time. Starting with an airtime of half an hour, it got so popular that it later became an hour-long show.

“Most importantly, the stories that we featured were so inspirational that many viewers wrote in to share with us how impacted they were by the show.”

For example, while filming an episode in a rooftop shanty town in Hong Kong, Belinda realised that it was a misconception that Hong Kong is a city of affluence. In reality, poverty exists in Hong Kong too – families live in cramped rooms on the rooftops, in fear of bad typhoons. These houses are easily destroyed in extreme weather.

In that tiny, rickety house, Belinda allowed her conscience and emotions to guide her. Through hosting Find Me A Singaporean, Belinda experienced God’s overflowing love and compassion for the poor and needy.

“For the very first time in my life, I felt that I could afford to be the real Belinda on TV. While filming, I could cry whenever I was moved, and smile or laugh whenever I was happy. I didn’t have to pretend to be something that I am not,” says Belinda.

BROKEN TO BE A BLESSING

She says it was then she came to understand how her difficult childhood and numerous setbacks in life helped her grow a heart of empathy.

“If I had never tasted what it was like to be poor, rejected, condemned, abused and depressed, I would never have been able to understand and feel the pain of the people whom I have interviewed, and even weep silently with them.”

Now, Belinda believes that God worked through her brokenness to prepare her for His work.

“God has chosen to use my past hurts and weaknesses for His greater purpose. He has seen me go through brokenness, so that I can be used as His vessel to reach out to the broken-hearted, to be a mouthpiece for Him, to be a voice for the voiceless, the rejected, abandoned, wounded and depressed,” reasons Belinda.

“It was very, very clear that all God wanted for me to do was to stop pleasing the world, just go please Him alone.”

Through her travelogue, Belinda also had the opportunity to become the goodwill ambassador for World Vision, a non-profit Christian humanitarian organisation – a role she remains involved in. Her experiences with her travelogue also inspired her to write her book, Larger Than Life: Celebrating the Human Spirit.

In 2016, Larger Than Life won Popular book store’s Readers’ Choice Award.

Says Belinda, who had grown accustomed to rejection, of the accolade: “I was overwhelmed.”

SCHOOL OF FAITH

As she closer and closer to God, Belinda felt a desire to go to Bible school.

“I took that leap of faith and took six months of no-pay leave. But many people talked to me and told me, ‘Belinda, are you crazy? It’s not a wise move if you want to do well in the industry. You shouldn’t take leave. You should work very, very hard.'”

But for the first time in Belinda’s life, she “did not go around seeking advice and approval”, she says.

Twenty-eight days after Belinda started school, she attended Mediacorp’s annual Star Awards ceremony. She went to the awards ceremony with Matthew 6:33 – Seek HIM first! – engraved in her heart, and ended up bagging three awards that night.

She made sure to thank Yahweh – God – on stage.

“The reporters actually asked me who was that ‘Yahweh’ whom I thanked on stage,” Belinda says, laughing at the memory of how the media thought it was the name of some romantic interest.

“It was clear – it was very, very clear that all God wanted for me to do was to stop pleasing the world, just go please Him alone.”

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE

Belinda left Mediacorp at the beginning of 2017, a choice she made in order to get out of her comfort zone, to pursue a greater purpose in life.

“Was it difficult? Yes. Was it a struggle? Yes. Did I take a long time to think about it? Yes,” she admits.

“But I knew I had to do this. I chose to get out of my comfort zone to pursue a greater purpose in life.”

She appreciates the freedom of being able to decide on her schedule, so she can prioritise serving God. The lack of a fixed contract means she’s learnt how to depend more on God, to trust Him no matter what.

It’s a lesson she is learning how to apply in every area of her life. As she looks back at the mistakes she’s made, and sees how her life has turned around, she knows it can only be the grace of God at work.

“I gave my heart to all the wrong people. They abused it, even crushed it, and threw it away,” she says.

“But the moment I gave my heart to Jesus, not only does He cherish it, He actually engraved my name in the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16) – that’s how much I knows He loves me.”

/ eudora@thir.st

Eudora found herself writing on public platforms by chance. Apart from writing, she likes many random things, including spoken word poetry, adult colouring books, tea, stationery and fresh, clean laundry.

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Being bullied ruined my life, but I found a way out

by Natalie Tay | 15 October 2018, 4:15 PM

My family is a very traditional Chinese family with staunch religious beliefs. So though I’ve wanted to come to church since I was 5 years old, I was not allowed to do so.

When I was in primary school, I was introduced to what I felt was a nightmare. I was bullied physically, emotionally and verbally. And it wasn’t just one mean girl saying a few childish things about me – I was bullied by my entire class from when I was about 10 years old.

Coming from a class of rich and smart students, there was a hierarchy. I just happened to not be a part of the popular gang. I was bullied verbally: they would search up mean words from electronic dictionaries to label me with every day, like “slut”, “vixen”, “fat” and “spastic”.

They took my things and broke them, told me I shouldn’t eat or hide away my personal things, tore up the songs I wrote and made fun of my diary.

Whenever I tried to run and seek help, they would stop me by pulling me by the hair and telling me they’d stop … but they never did.

They told me to go and do everyone a favour and die. I didn’t, and I still don’t understand why I was treated that way.

They would “use” me when they needed me, but when they didn’t – I became irrelevant. Eventually, I thought that I was bullied because I was just me, and that it was my fault for being the way I was. My family put a high emphasis on grades and being in the best class, so being one of the worst students in class only damaged my self-esteem even further.

They told me to go and do everyone a favour and die.

Over time, this resulted in a few disorders. The eating disorder was the first. I hated my looks and my self-esteem plunged. I developed anxiety and depression from around the age of 11. I also had really bad insomnia, sleeping less than 4 hours on a regular basis.

I resorted to self-harm, cutting myself in hidden places like my hip to distract myself from the pain that I so desperately wanted to alleviate. I told no one about what I was doing, wanting to die more and more each day. I didn’t seek any help from anyone, not wanting to be even more of a problem or burden anymore.

I began to plan ways and means to kill myself. 

Life did get a bit better in secondary school: I wasn’t being bullied anymore, though I never really did fit in.

My negative mentality and poor self-image were already fixed in place. I was socially awkward, unable to talk to anyone properly without feeling judged or paranoid. I identified with the labels everyone had given me in primary school and was so used to hiding.

Just when I thought I was slowly getting over my eating disorder, something really bad happened. In secondary 2, I had a really bad anxiety attack in school after finding out I failed one of my papers. They had to send me to the hospital in an ambulance.

Because of this episode, my parents and my school finally found out about all my struggles. Everything came out and I was terrified. I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies and an eating disorder. I could no longer engage in physical activity because I would hyperventilate every time I ran.

People would sneak in plastic knives to harm themselves and it was blatantly obvious that everyone there was driven by the desire to die.

I got even worse after the diagnoses. I was very, very suicidal and was put on constant watch because I overdosed on pills and self-harmed constantly – desperate to find outlets to escape.

I was then admitted into the hospital for about week in the psychiatric ward so doctors could watch me. Being in the psychiatric ward was a huge struggle for me and it seemed like a never-ending nightmare. They would take away simple items such as soap and toothpaste to ensure that no one would harm themselves. People would sneak in plastic knives to harm themselves and it was blatantly obvious that everyone there was driven by the desire to die.

In the psychiatric ward, all we did was talk about death and share about ways to die. I never got any better and I eventually simply aimed to get discharged as soon as possible instead of getting well because it felt like I was drowning.

My life only turned around when I first truly encountered Jesus.

After being discharged, there was one night when I got extremely suicidal. But in the throes of depression, I had this strange and clear urge to call my school’s house captain. I wasn’t very close to her and I had no reasons to call her, but I did anyway.

While I had never been one to talk about my struggles, I surprised myself by sharing about my struggles with her, telling her that I didn’t know what to do.

She happened to be with her cell group from church and she invited me to get to know more friends from the cell. I was super apprehensive when they added me into the cell group chat, anxious about everything – very skeptical about church. I didn’t believe anyone could really accept and love me.

I was certain that I’d end up ostracised, that even God couldn’t understand my pain.

… though life doesn’t get simpler, God makes a way for me.

Besides, I also highly doubted that my parents would allow me to go to church due to their religious beliefs. I turned out to be wrong about that.

My parents surprisingly allowed me to attend church, so 29 November 2014 was the day I first attended service at Faith Community Baptist Church (FCBC). There I experienced the tangible and amazing presence of God in worship. I broke down during the alter call, and it was then I knew that God was real.

God opened my heart and showed me true love and acceptance that day. That was the beginning of my healing as God started to become very real in my life.

It’s been four years since I’ve accepted Christ, and it has been the best decision of my life.

Life didn’t magically get easier, I still had my struggles in life. I made many mistakes and had my faith tested. But I can say this: though life doesn’t get simpler, God makes a way for me.

I no longer rely on any form of medication or go to the hospital for any treatment anymore. I was personally convicted to trust in God alone for healing, and He came through for me that way.

I struggle much less with anxiety and no longer feel suicidal or depressed all the time. I eat consistently now and I can do exercise – even joining a sports CCA in JC after not having done any physical activity for 3 years.

It isn’t that God makes problems go away. He can do that, but in my experience He transforms people in the process – He changed me as a person through my trials completely. I was someone who was used to fear every day, but now I’ve grown to see the good in life even when things get tough.

I can praise God in every situation and circumstance. I now know that my identity and worth come only from the Lord and that He makes things beautiful in His own time and in His own way. I’ve been blessed with a community in FCBC that truly supports me and I really am grateful to be given the life I have.

It’s been four years since I’ve accepted Christ, and it has been the best decision of my life.

The song I wrote, Guide Me, is about the fear, anxiety, depression and pain in my life that I struggled through. The lyrics reflect the goodness, grace and truth that I’ve come to see in God.

It’s a song that God gave to me, ministering to me when I was at my lowest point. I pray that as we all struggle, we’ll remember that God is sovereign and He is the same God in the good and the bad. We can truly get through everything and anything, not by our own strength, but by His. All Glory to God!

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” ( 2 Corinthians 12:9-10)


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I was obsessed with being self-sufficient

by Eunice Tan | 11 October 2018, 3:29 PM

I don’t know if I was born the independent type, but somewhere along the way I actively sought to develop the ability to take care of myself.

Having always dreamt of living alone, I looked to move out when I started a full-time job. Eventually, I left Singapore for the enigmatic, multi-faceted country of Japan without even first understanding the language and culture.

The freedom to choose what I want to do had always been something I delighted in, and I did not want anyone – maybe even God – to direct my path. This was despite having grown up in a Christian home, being a member of a biblically sound church and serving as a youth group leader.

While I still relish the flexibility and possibilities of my life here, I am now aware that it can come at a dangerous price: self-sufficiency.

Charles Spurgeon once warned, “Do not become self-sufficient. Self-sufficiency is Satan’s net where he catches men, like poor silly fish, and destroys them.”

I honed my self-sufficiency into an art. I established a fulfilling life in Japan, tackling all the legal, cultural and linguistic obstacles a foreigner has to face here. And in my limited Japanese, I did it all by myself – refusing to ask for any help.

I took careful measures to avoid developing complacency (one of the pitfalls of foreigners teaching English in Japan) and once, even laughably refused repeated offers of help from my friends to assemble a semi-double bed from IKEA.

So much pride. So self-sufficient. And just like that, I joined the ranks of Adam’s Eve and Austen’s Emma, set to confront my humanity.

If my life was a car on a journey, God was still in the driving seat, but I was expending all my energy trying to wrestle the steering wheel away from him.

Four things happened in dizzying succession immediately after this year’s CNY celebrations.

  • My dad’s health suffered which stopped him from working.
  • I needed help in writing my dissertation but could not get it.
  • Relationship matters struck …
  • My body joined the party – insomnia meant I only got 4 hours of fitful sleep each night.

Trying to tire myself out in the day just piled on the stress. Worry, frustration and sadness kept my brain awake for hours on end.

I was still going to church, still praying and still thinking my life was aligned to His will. If my life was a car on a journey, God was still in the driving seat, but I was expending all my energy trying to wrestle the steering wheel away from him.

The day after I handed in my dissertation, my friends (who live in faraway prefectures) turned up on my doorstep excitedly thinking they could surprise me, then hang out together to help me get over the post-dissertation stress.

When I opened the door and saw them, I started crying messily, uglily and without restraint. Stretched so thin mentally, emotionally and physically, I broke when faced with God’s love in the form of my friends’ surprise care package.

I was self-sufficient up to a point – and then I was not. When God wants your attention, He gets your attention.

My friends let me sob and share everything I had been going through as they made me a cup of coffee. That day, I learnt the consolatory magic that happens when love meets vulnerability.

God broke the proud person that I was. But He also put me back together again as a new and humbler person – someone who is ready to serve Him.

Now I am ready and willing to listen and help others, and less quick to offer glib answers to those who are hurting. Because I understand suffering more now – I have become more human in that way.

So God placed healing in my path, making sure it was through others this time. No more of that self-sufficiency stuff for me. Healing started simply, and progressed into something so wondrous I can barely move sometimes – so enveloped am I in His mercy.

 

Over the next few months, I read the Bible more and more, listened to sermons, and found opportunities to serve in church and pray with others. I learnt that there is comfort in giving up control to God. There’s peace – not fear – in being vulnerable and asking for help.

Ecclesiastes 6:9 was an anchor verse that helped me align my will with God’s: “Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of desire. This also is vanity and grasping for the wind.”

I focused on enjoying the scenery of the roads God drove along, and stopped thinking of where I wanted myself to go. I concentrated on doing my work well. Served in church. Savoured the time spent with friends.

Gears switched, and we cruised along. Basking in the sunshine of God’s company, I believe He was probably happy that his passenger had finally stopped being a backseat driver.

I tapped into a true Sabbath rest and spent time with God, because when you love someone you want to spend time with that person. And God shows us the way to move forward when we spend time with Him.

For “He who would love life And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; Let him seek peace and pursue it….” 1 Peter 3:10-11 (NKJV)

I sought peace and pursued it.

I actively prayed for peace, looked for it in the Bible, in others’ testimonies and in my daily experiences. I challenged myself to pursue peace no matter what happened in life. Every negative or positive thing that happens is an opportunity to develop discipline and peace. And so even the agony of sleepless nights turned into opportunities for remembering others in prayer.

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.” (Psalm 37:3, NKJV)

The most recent part of my healing process has come in the form of both passive and active actions. While I trust in God and wait on His direction, I do the good I know how to.

I wonder if Spurgeon envisioned self-sufficiency as a net not only because it enables Satan to ensnare us, but also because it prevents us from reaching out to take hold of God’s promises and “feed on His faithfulness”. It stops us from seeking out ways to depend on God.

I’m looking to never get caught in this net of self-sufficiency again, and through His grace, I might actually be able to steer clear of it.

Whatever happens next, I am buckled in and ready. Wherever God is driving me to, I’m down for the ride.

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Don’t waste your time in university

by June Ong | 10 October 2018, 2:27 PM

For many of us, university is the first real chance to decide how we want to live our lives.

As young adults, we are suddenly presented with opportunities to make decisions by ourselves. What modules should I take? Which internship should I go for? Which CCA should I join?

And as Christians, we know that our decisions should bring us towards fulfilling God’s calling and purposes for us. However, many of us get caught up in life, and find ourselves swaying from the path God has called us to.

Before I began university, I told God that I would dedicate my time in university to serving Him and advancing His Kingdom in my school.

Because God had given me a vision of revival before university, I started school as this hopeful and enthusiastic Christian ready to proclaim the Gospel. But when I participated in my hall’s FOC (Freshman Orientation Camp) and captured a glimpse of life there, I was culture-shocked. I felt torn between my faith and hall life.

I identified as a Christian but found myself swaying from time to time. For 2 years of my university life, I was an active hall resident. I received favour and affirmation constantly, I also held several leadership positions. I was enjoying the recognition and affirmation so much that I completely forgot about my promise to God and the vision that had captured my heart before university.

I even found myself drifting from my spiritual community, losing the most stable source of support and godly guidance I had. But the affirmation I derived from hall life continued to increase as I poured everything I had into it.

I felt like an Esther who had ignored the state of her people, who continued to enjoy the luxuries given to her.

At the end of my 2 years, I attended my church’s camp for university students.

My pastor shared the story of Esther: a young woman who was put into an influential position “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14). Esther risked everything she had – even her life – to save her people.

And what about me? I felt like an Esther who had ignored the state of her people, who continued to enjoy the luxuries given to her. In that camp, God reminded me of the commitment that I made to Him.

He set a new fire in my heart for the harvest field of my campus.

There are many things we can learn from Esther. First, Esther was aware of God’s plan for her.

“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to the royal palace for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14)

God granted her divine favour and orchestrated her circumstances so that she would be put in a high position. That meant Esther could use her position to advocate for her people.

Many of us are in influential positions because of divine favour and empowerment from God. It is especially important for us to recognise that, and realise why God put us there.

Second, Esther prayed and fasted together with a godly community.

“Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do.” (Esther 4:16a)

Many of us have underestimated and neglected this discipline of praying and fasting. However, there are many examples of how God moved after the people prayed and fasted. Doing it together with a godly community helps to build faith and unity. By praying and fasting, Esther and the Jews were opening doors for God to move.

Lastly, Esther stood with courage: “When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” (Esther 4:16b)

This was the true mark of Esther’s love for God and her people. She was willing to speak against her king to save her people – even willing to die.

I know many Christians out there who are struggling with what they want and what God wants.

They struggle with what makes them happy and what makes God happy. Many of us are in influential positions because of divine favour and empowerment from God. It is especially important for us to recognise that, and realise why God put us there.

Life is not about us. As Christians we will have to run against the wind, speak out against popular opinions and be in a positions of discomfort. But we must never sit back and relax while our generation drifts further and further away from God.

I personally do not know what God has in store for you, but what I do know is that affirmation that comes from God is infinitely better than the world’s affirmation.

I know that hearing “good and faithful servant” from the One who created me, is far more rewarding than hearing a worldly compliment. God will not shortchange us when we choose to glorify and honour Him.

This is a call to all the Esthers out there who have been placed in a position for a time such as this – to rise up and declare God’s love over our generation.

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This is our God, the Servant King

by Alarice Hong, Awaken Generation | 10 October 2018, 1:11 PM

Traded heaven for humanity
Our God eternal who became a man
Who is this God who’d exchange His life?
For the beggar and the dead

I was sitting at my piano one day and playing around with some chords. The phrase “traded heaven for humanity” came to me and that helped in setting the direction for the song I was writing.

As I progressed to coming up with a chorus for the song I had in mind, “this is our God, the Servant King” emerged. This cemented the anthemic sound of the song that I was going for, and it was so clear that I could hear the drumbeat of it.

This is our God, the Servant King
Nailed to the cross but rose again in victory
This is our God, King Jesus
Lamb who was slain, exalted now forever

The verses of the song reflected my own personal Biblical revelation of the paradox of Christ – that He was both a servant and a king. There is actually an old and amazing hymn that is also entitled “The Servant King” so it was encouraging for me to put a modern spin on this compelling concept as well.

King of Heaven humbled to a cross
He knew no sin yet He bore the world’s
Who is this God, who would save my life?
And wash me clean by His blood

And what makes it compelling is the immense contrast that is embedded within – He who is holy and almighty was willing to become a bondservant to serve humanity as the Messiah (Philippians 2:5-8); Jesus washed the feet of His disciples (John 13:1-17). And in that humanity, He gave them and us freedom from any worldly bondage (John 8:36).

The veil was torn at His final breath
And the tomb could not contain His pow’r
Who is this God who defeated death?
He is risen from the grave

Another phrase that reflected this contrast, “God eternal became a man” came in very early in the development of the song. And that encapsulates the audacity of Christ and the gospel, that He willingly became mortal and suffered the extremes of human suffering all because of and for love.

I would give my life
For the cause of Christ
To love like you loved and
To serve like you served

The bridge of the song than moves into a personal response from us as worshippers, a cry from which each of us. I’m imagining this song as a congregational piece as well. A.W. Tozer has a beautiful quote which comes to mind when I think the transformational power corporate worship has to individual worship.

“Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which each one must individually bow. So one hundred worshippers met together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be, were they to become ‘unity’ conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship.”

So as each individual within the congregation declares their desire to be more like Christ, that actually ties them even closer as a community. And that will be how the church is strengthened with each of its members desiring to be servant leaders, simply because their eyes are fixed on the true Servant King.


“Servant King” is a song from Awaken Generation‘s latest album, “Our Light Has Come”, which will be released on October 11, 2018, on all major music platforms.

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