Faith

Calm my raging heart

Ooi Fei Long // December 14, 2017, 10:50 am

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In April this year, I found out that I had a tumour growing from my nerve cells on the right side of my spine.

Fear was a very real thing in my heart that caused me to question what would happen to me and whether or not I’d be okay. It wasn’t a fear of pain, but rather, a fear of uncertainty. I didn’t know whether I would be able to move my back after the surgery, or even use my abdomen muscles anymore.

I didn’t know if I could continue studying, down to how long it’d take before I could walk on my own again. It was the possibilities, not the process, that paralysed me with fear.

I carried this fear everywhere. I was afraid when I went for an MRI scan to diagnose how much the tumour had grown since our discovery of it. I was afraid for the whole week leading up to that. But during Church that weekend, I learnt what it meant to have faith.

Real faith isn’t finding security in your own logic.

Real faith isn’t believing that God will bring you through a certain situation a certain way and finding security in your own logic. Real faith is knowing that God’s will will always be done no matter the circumstances – and thus choosing to glorify God by having faith and fearing not.

And as I entered the surgery room on September 22, 2017, I went in with faith that God is the Prince of Peace and Lord of all Hope.

But even with the worst of possibilities set against me, God delivered me nonetheless: A supposed 7-hour surgery that required the removal of two ribs turned into a mere 3-hour surgery with no moving of bones necessary!

My God gives me hope and peace no matter the situation, and I will praise Him because of that.


This is a submission from a participant of our Christmas Gift Exchange. From now till the end of December 2017, we are giving away a limited edition Thir.st Tumbler in exchange for every story on the Christmas themes of love, joy, peace, hope and giving. Click here to find out more.