Relationships

Dear heart, I’m so glad I didn’t settle for less

Rachel Goh // February 13, 2019, 7:48 pm

Don't settle for less

Growing up, my church mates and I would share traits that we wanted our future life partners to have. We had dreams of how we wanted to lead our families, do great things for the Lord with our partners, and even discussed what were our deal-breakers.

I was taught never to settle for less in a partner, but as the years went by, I witnessed many of my friends slowly compromising. “I can’t be so picky anymore”, “these ideal guys don’t exist or are already taken” were just a few of their reasons.

Honestly, it was a struggle for me too. Many times, I started to question if my high expectations of a godly partner were too absurd. I mean, I had godly friends who were attached to great people. Both my sisters met their future husbands at 18 years old and were now happily married for almost 7 years each. Why hadn’t God allowed me to be in their position? Had He forgotten about me?

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These feelings and questions arose particularly strongly last year, when my youth worship experienced a powerful move of God. Week in, week out, the ministry of the Holy Spirit was at a level we’d never seen before. I remember heading back home after those sessions, overwhelmed and overjoyed, yet wishing deep inside that I’d someone I could share this joy with.

But after every wave of doubt and heartache, I would always be reminded of Psalm 37:4: “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart”.

The wait was always about experiencing God, not just enduring the delay.

One night, I was worshipping the Lord when I found myself saying this prayer: “God, I just want You. It doesn’t matter anymore whether someone else is with me. I just want to serve You and I really love You with all my heart.”

A few months later, I met someone who was also serving in worship ministry. He wasn’t Prince Charming, but he was definitely a man after God’s heart – quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger (James 1:19). He was steadfast in his love for Jesus, hugely generous and placed people before himself. What I loved most was how much his heart beat for the same thing – worship.

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This man groomed musicians and worship leaders, many of whom had exceeded him in size of ministry, but he rejoiced over each one and yearned to see the worship of God flourish in this generation and beyond.

We had dreams and visions from the Lord, and our mentors affirmed our relationship. It was only then we decided to pursue it further. From there, our ministry as a couple truly bloomed. We started to have opportunities to minister to the worship teams of other churches, which was something that our hearts were passionate for.

As I look back, I can only say that the Lord has been faithful to me. I’d never waited in vain because I’d been waiting on God. The wait was always about experiencing God, not just enduring the delay.

I cannot imagine what would have happened if I’d compromised on such an important aspect of my life – my heart. Because in this whole process, I can say I fell even deeper in love with Jesus. He is my true Valentine.

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To my fellow friends in waiting, it’s perfectly okay to have high expectations. Stay focused on your relationship with God and make up your mind (and heart!) never to compromise.

My prayer for us is that we will set ourselves apart from the world and continue to love the Lord like never before even if we’re in a committed relationship. Take time to grow deeply in the Lord, stay rooted in the faith and the Word, and pray for everything that is in the Father’s heart.

Remember, you were always made for more. Always made for greater things. Never made to settle for anything less than what a daughter of the Most High deserves. And because you are one, purpose to do your Father’s will first. 

With Him, you’re in for the adventure of a lifetime, whatever – and whoever – He chooses for you.❤️


The writer’s name has been changed for confidentiality.