How a mocker of God ended up encountering His love

Kek Zi Qi // February 26, 2019, 6:03 pm

How a mocker of God ended up at the Alpha course

My parents had a strong Chinese religious background, and from a young age I would follow their religious practices without questioning what they meant. In spite of my upbringing, I did not believe that there was a God. I simply focused on my own abilities to live my life.

I had a big social circle, and my friends and I would mock God. Our conversations were often filled with foul language. However, I was very well-behaved at home, and my parents did not suspect that I behaved any differently outside.


When I was in secondary school, one of my brothers brought me to a church to attend a cell group session. On that day, there was a feet-washing exercise as part of the programme.

The cell group members began to literally wash my feet – crying as they did so. I was shocked, but I sat on the chair and allowed them to continue. That experience left me feeling perplexed about Christianity, and I didn’t want to find out any more about this religion.

I did not believe that there was a God. I simply focused on my own abilities to live my life.

Many years after this happened, a friend invited me to a youth group service at Church of Our Saviour. It was called 生命之光 (Light of Life), and they were running a bilingual Youth Alpha in English and Mandarin.

The Alpha introduction session felt very different from my first church experience. The people there were very friendly. Even though everything was new to me, I felt comfortable and welcomed.

I continued attending week after week, and at one of the Alpha sessions titled “How can I have faith?”, a speaker gave a short message before we watched the video. That day, the words in the message and the video resonated with me deeply.

During the small group discussion, I suddenly felt a burning desire to make a decision about my faith. I knew I needed God in my life. When there was a call for prayer ministry at the front of the hall, I stepped forward. That day, I prayed to receive Jesus into my life.

Is your faith more than just good feels?


I began to notice little things that were different about myself.

I began to treat my family better, speak to my parents more respectfully and let them be more involved in my life. Even though my father is a man of few words, I made more effort to engage him and regularly ask him about his day. My relationship with my brothers improved over time, and we now argue less with one another.

I have also been more intentional about planning activities to spend more time together as a family. As a result, my parents are more understanding when I tell them that I have church activities to attend on weekends. There is now a sense of peace and joy in the family, which I know could have only come from God!

Through these changes in my life, I hope that my family may see Christ’s love through me.

Why was I born into a dysfunctional family?

My journey has not always been a bed of roses. I went through a breakup with my ex-boyfriend which left me devastated. During this period, I stopped going to church until one of my mentors contacted me – encouraging and reminding me about the importance of being with my church community. To my surprise, after hearing about my situation, even my parents said that I should continue attending church!

When we place our own expectations on people, we may sometimes be left disappointed. But God will never disappoint.

On the day I returned to church, I was grateful that my mentor had not given up on me despite my long absence. After my time away, it felt good to reunite with my friends. I realised that I should continue to make efforts to move forward and invest in my friendships instead of isolating myself.

As I began my road to recovery, I learnt that when we place our own expectations on people, we may sometimes be left disappointed. But God will never disappoint us. Through this season of brokenness, I sensed God’s love for me in so many ways, and it made me more aware of my need to allow God’s love to fill every void in my life.

I now serve in my church’s children’s ministry and regularly attend a cell group. I continue to pray for my parents to encounter the God of love as I have. He pursued me, and I know that He will continue to pursue them with His relentless love.

I look forward to the day when we will worship God together as one family!

Want to live boldly for God but not sure where to start? Alpha Singapore is organising a youth conference to empower the next generation to rise up in faith. Running from 15 to 16 March 2019, visit GLOW for more details. Registration closes this Friday, 1 March 2019.