Relationships

#SpillTheTeh: The crazy things we do for love

by Wong Siqi // February 11, 2021, 11:13 am

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  • Confessing to the same person seven times.
  • Washing your crush’s feet in public.
  • Replicating your eye-candy’s timetable based on trial and error.

Wow. For Valentine’s Day this year, we interviewed seven individuals on how their passion for another individual drove them to do extreme things like that list above. 

The resulting video had some seriously awesome stories. But since you’re already here in the article version, just sit back, relax and join us on this crazy journey of love. 

YOUNG LOVE IN THE CAMPUS

Starting with the classic “study date” move, Joanne shared about the time she intentionally travelled back to campus during revision week.

“I’m the kind of person who would never come back to school to study,” she stressed.

“But he was the kind of guy who would leave a whole pile of books on the table just so that he could come back the next day and get the same space.”

And so even though it was totally uncharacteristic of her, Joanne actually volunteered to travel back to school to the exact same spot every morning to study together. 

“It was crazy that I did not fail my exams after that because I probably didn’t do much studying,” she laughed.

“And I didn’t wind up with the guy. So that tops off the crazy level – I did this all for absolutely nothing!”

But what if there’s no opening to ask someone out for a study date?

The simple answer: you create one.

Justine recounted the time she memorised her crush’s timetable – she would hang around the classrooms in order to “coincidentally” bump into him after his classes.

It all started with a class about arts and philosophy. Justine’s lecturer was talking about how animals are always searching for a potential mate when they’re in a watering hole.

Noting how this behaviour is also seen in human nature, the lecturer said to the class that humans also keep an eye for a potential partner in any given situation.

That’s when the idea was seeded in Justine’s mind. The next class, she practised the exercise and in a class of 4-5 guys, she found the one that had the most “potential”.

After weeks of “observation”, she slowly developed a crush which soon became full-fledged infatuation.

Why I wrote a list before dating

“The crazy part came in when I started memorising his timetable!” Justine admitted sheepishly.

“Week after week, I would use the guess and check method like ‘Okay, if he’s not in this class, then he should be in this class. Oh but he’s not in that class, then he’ll be in this class’.

“So from like guessing and checking, I managed to replicate his timetable.”

Feeling the creeps? You’re not alone. Let’s quickly move on to a sweeter story then…

Jun Pei shared fond memories of her time in junior college (JC). Her admirer brought her to the supermarket – not the most romantic place – and asked her to choose her favourite canned food.

“The next day, when I went to school, he texted me and was like “Hey Jun Pei, can you go to my locker? This is my password. And then in there, you will find your breakfast.”

Turns out, he had prepared a tuna sandwich along with a bar of Snickers and would continue to make breakfast for a couple of mornings.

“Other than my mum, no one had ever cooked or prepared any food for me,” Jun Pei smiled. “And in JC, we were very busy, you know. So I don’t know where he found the time to do this kind of thing.

“To me, it’s a lot of effort, and I think it’s crazy enough. “

GOING THE EXTRA MILE

But Jun Pei’s secret admirer wasn’t the only one who went out of his way to impress her.

Ivan, who eventually became Jun Pei’s husband, also did something uncharacteristic in order to win her heart.

Having gotten to know each other through a church camp and realising that they both served in the autism community, Jun Pei sent a list of recommended movies about autism to Ivan.

But as Ivan wasn’t ready for a relationship back then, all he thought at that point in time was: “Okay, thank you friend”.

Two months down the road, Ivan became more open to the idea of a relationship and decided to get to know Jun Pei. There and then, at midnight, he picked a movie from her recommended list and started watching it.

“I wouldn’t watch a show at 12 am. It’s crazy, especially at my age,” Ivan explained. “When you grow older in age, it’s something that you’d only want to do once in a while, not very often.”

He found himself going a mile further, penning his thoughts and reflections before sending it to Jun Pei immediately after the 2-hour long movie.

That kickstarted a conversation between the two of them and the rest, as they say, is history.

While Ivan went out of his way to impress Jun Pei’s heart, our next profile literally travelled thousands of extra miles.

Kezia met her crush when they were studying in a university overseas. Upon returning to Singapore and hearing that he would be in Cambodia for church planting, she did not hesitate to fly over to see him.

“My twin sister who was in Canada, came down with me to Cambodia because she said I was going to get shot,” Kezia laughed. “But I was like, you’re not gonna help if you come down with me.”

True enough, the sisters were in for an adventure right from the get-go.

“There was this one time when my sister and I left the Airbnb, and we were meant to meet the church planters that I went to see,” Kezia recounted.

“They put us in a tuk-tuk while they cycled there. And the tuk-tuk dropped us off at the wrong place.” 

Both of them did not have their phones on them and after roaming the streets for a while, they decided to head back home.

“Out of nowhere, my sister spots this guy and he’s like, ‘Where have you been? We’ve been all looking for you!'”

Apparently, another church planter went to the brothels to look for them as they were genuinely scared that people wanted these Southeast Asian twins.

Why did she choose to go Cambodia despite knowing the risks? Kezia confessed: “I thought maybe if we spent time together, something would spark. And that’s why I went.”

OUT OF THIS WORLD

Still not crazy enough? Get ready, because we’re cranking up this up to another level with these next two stories.

Imagine confessing and getting rejected by the same person not once, not twice – but seven times! That was Marcus’ experience for you.

“I guess it’s because I just wanted to show her that I really liked her,” he laughed. “So maybe through this perseverance, she would approve of me. Like, ‘Okay, lah, I’m yours’, that kind of thing.”

He persisted for two whole years. Unfortunately, the answer was still no.

The final blow came when they were on a kite outing with their friends. Everything went well – he was even able to hold her hands while guiding her on kite flying – until he popped the question.

“I told her: ‘I think we stand a chance’. And then she was like, ‘Yeah, no’”.

Ouch.

That was nearly 10 years ago. Thankfully, they are still friends today. But if you think Marcus’ story is crazy, wait till you hear our last one.

To give you some context, Weiren had his eyes set on this one girl who had told him she that wasn’t ready for a relationship.

She even advised him not to wait for her as she couldn’t promise if they would eventually end up together.

Weiren’s reply to that was bold: “Whatever you say is from your own point of view, but waiting is my decision. You don’t make that choice for me”.

To many of his friends, waiting for five years was a crazy decision.

Eventually, he decided to set a timeline of five years. To many of his friends, it was a crazy decision.

But it gets better: four years into the agreed timeline, the girl agreed to talk about their relationship status after coming back from her exchange.

Unfortunately, her return date coincided with when Weiren would fly to Taiwan for his exchange program.

“I was like ‘Wah, got hope ah! Can’t wait for June to come!’ But we were both quite sad because we’ll still miss each other at the middle’.”

“When you make a covenant with someone, there’s no back door”: How one couple found the courage to commit

But as it turned out, she decided to go on a trip to Taiwan after her exchange.

Weiren was secretly happy at this turn of events and had high hopes that they would be able to spend some time together in Taiwan.

To his disappointment, however, she requested time to be alone as she was still unsure if they should be together.

Weiren decided that this was his last chance to show her what his love would look like.

“Growing up in church, I learnt that there are many ways to display love to the person that you love. And one of them is through service,” he explained.

Knowing that she would be sweaty and muddy after coming back from a hike, he prepared to meet her at the foot of the mountain with a bottle of water, towel and a pair of slippers.

“We sat down, talked for a while and she said, ‘You know, I’m just really not that sure that being together will be a good idea for the both of us’,” Weiren recounted.

“So I looked at her and said, ‘You know, I was really looking forward that we could finally be together after waiting for so long, and I’m okay if you really don’t want to do it.

“But do you mind if I just – I planned to do this when we actually got together but if I don’t get the chance to, can I do it now?’

“She said, ‘What do you want to do?’ I said, ‘Do you mind if I wash your feet?’”

5 mistakes to avoid when you’re waiting for love

Weiren was quick to stress just how crazy this act of love might seem.

He clarified: “Now, to some people they’ll be like ‘aww, so romantic’, but to the people of Taiwan who were watching us at the park, they were like what is this dude doing on the floor washing some random girl’s feet?

“Maybe that sounds a bit crazy looking back,” he admitted. “But at that point in time, it was just me showing her that ‘Hey, I really care for you. And if in the future we just don’t work out, I’m okay with it. I just wanted to show you that I care’.”

Today, Weiren and Peiyi have been together for two years and are currently engaged.

THE CRAZIEST LOVE OF ALL

Love has driven many of us to do crazy things. But as one profile realised, not all crazy equals good. There’s a difference between healthy-crazy and unhealthy-crazy.

Justine agreed that her stalkerish behaviour definitely falls under the unhealthy kind of crazy.

“To me, stalking someone is a very selfish desire,” she said. “If my crush knew that I stalked him, he wouldn’t feel loved at all. He would be creeped out!”

Using Jesus’ sacrifice for us as an example, she explained that love which is healthy-crazy involves a sacrifice that truly benefits the other party.

“In that sense, it’s more of a compassionate love rather than a selfish and obsessive crazy love,” she explained.

Love which is healthy-crazy involves a sacrifice that truly benefits the other party.

Weiren concurred with this sentiment: “God was willing to give up everything, to come down all the way to Earth, and then lose His life, so that one day I’ll be able to come back and get to know Him as God.”

“I would say it’s crazy because not only is it such a huge sacrifice, Jesus had to wait for us to reciprocate,” he said.

Weiren noted that in his personal life, God waited eight years – double the time Weiren waited for Peiyi – for him to accept Jesus into his life.

Seeing how God crazily loves him inspires him to do the same for Peiyi: “I’m not God so I can’t go that far, but at least I go to the best of my abilities to show Peiyi I love her that much as well”.

Yes, Jesus loves you

And for singles who may be motivated to find themselves a “Weiren” to shower them with love, Joanne and Kezia had words of assurance.

“I would tell my younger self: Slow down, there’s no need to rush,” affirmed Joanne. “But there’s every need to acquaint yourself with the real Love.”

For Joanne, God is the only one who can truly meet her heart’s needs – fully knowing her and fully loving her.

God can meet your needs in ways no one else can.

Kezia had similar sentiments: “To the world, that seems crazy because we are here on earth and God is in heaven. But our understanding is that Jesus is very present here and He shows up. He still shows up.”

Joanne agreed: “God has shown me so many times through my life that there will be no regrets. And I think once you realised there are no regrets, you don’t feel that desperation.

“God has shown me it’s a walk. You don’t have to run. You’re not going to miss out on anything.”

Both Joanne and Kezia believe that if people took the time to do so, they would see how God can meet their needs in ways no one else can.

“I just hope people will stop for a while and really look into that,” Kezia concluded with a smile.

For more crazy stories not told here, check our video here:

THINK + TALK

  1. What are some of your own crazy crushes or confessions?
  2. What do you think God’s plan for you is in the area of love or marriage?
  3. Know someone who would enjoy reading this? Send this over.
About the author

Wong Siqi

Siqi often loses her footwear in the office. She is also known for her loud sneezes, huge appetite, and weird sound effects. Happens to be a writer too.