My wandering heart was made new
David Choo // June 4, 2019, 6:08 pm
Have you ever felt tired wandering on your own? Were you ever far from God’s presence and doubted if you’d be able to find your way back into His arms again?
You are not alone.
A few years ago, I was going through a seemingly barren season. I found myself feeling aimless and spiritually dry.
I was pouring time and energy into friendships, work and even church, but I still felt pretty lost inside. I sought out ways to occupy myself and to be with people, but it did not really help.
Instead, I grew even more worn out, weary and empty within.
I felt farther and farther away from God’s presence. I was desperate to be near Him again, like a child who wandered off from home and wanted to come back to the Father’s arms.
I wondered if I could ever turn back the clock and press that elusive “reset” button that could bring me back to how I first encountered His love. I needed his joy to fill me again.
During that period, I wrestled with self-doubts and disappointments. I found myself striving to “earn” God’s presence and love, and longing to rest in His arms like a child again. I needed to reconnect with Him once more.
It was then that I started to notice that I had been doing many things out of my own strength and relying on my own understanding.
Humbling myself before God, I surrendered all that I was wrestling with and asked for a renewed identity in Him. I longed for new hope in my spirit that only He could bring.
I was done with seeking out my own solutions that provided only temporary satisfaction. I deeply desired for something trustworthy, something eternal. I wanted to rediscover His true heart for myself and the world around me again.
I then decided to spend extended time alone, and started to sing out my heart’s cry from a place of vulnerability. I wanted to be honest and truthful with myself and with God.
Then the words began to flow as I penned down the emerging lyrics of “Be Made New”.
“Why do I feel so worn?” “Why am I so far from home?” were the first few lyrics that came out like a landslide. Questions were all that I had at the start as I confronted my own spirit.
It dawned on me that over time, I had been unknowingly basing my own worth and value in what was temporal – earthly achievements and human approval.
I was completely honest with God and acknowledged that I felt far from Him. I needed a fresh touch of His love and longed to rediscover my identity as His child again.
The questions in the chorus of “Be Made New” point to a longing to be renewed in Him.
“How can I be made new? How can I be reborn? How can we come alive again and sing a brand new song?”
There was a deep desire to start afresh with Him again. A brand new song of His love and hope was what I needed to sing out.
In the Parable of The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-24), the son wandered far from home, squandered all that his father gave in reckless living, and ended up needy and hungry.
After coming to his senses, he decided to return home. He was even ready to settle as one of his father’s servants, in hopes to earn his father’s acceptance.
However, to our amazement, the father ran towards him, welcomed his son back with open arms and threw a party to celebrate! What unconditional love and forgiveness!
In his father’s words, “for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.”
This beautiful reunion that points to the Father’s heart for his lost son led me to eventually find the words for the bridge of “Be Made New”.
I’ll run into your arms
That’s where I come undone
Your love it overwhelms
It never runs out
And when I’ve wandered off
From your perfect love
You find me in the dark
You pull me close
You never let me go
Maybe you see a glimpse of yourself in the prodigal son. Perhaps for too long you’ve been trying to earn the acceptance of others when it’s the unconditional love of the Father that you’ve needed.
In our deepest longing, there’s always a desire to be renewed and revived by such a powerful and enormous love.
In my own wandering and seeking, I found His arms opened wide to welcome me back home. He lifted up my spirit and filled me with new joy and hope, reminding me that His love does not change and I am His child.
Just as the prodigal son who returned to his father, my wandering heart was once again drawn back to the unconditional and perfect love of God.
THINK + TALK
- How would you describe the distance between you and God today?
- In what ways do you need to be made new?
- When was the last time you stole away to spend extended time with Him?